FASHION. BEAUTY. LIFESTYLE. an indecisive girl's life

Monday, 19 February 2018

Fate believer

I am one of those people who regret a of things, partly because all too often I'm scared of the outcome which is why I just let the opportunity pass me by. Sometimes it's easier to run the risk of missing out then to risk not getting the result you wanted...or so I thought anyway. I know we're half way through February already so making a New Years resolution now seems a little pointless but is it really?

All I'm saying is that from now on I'm going to grab the future with both hands and not give a damn about what people think about it. I saw a tweet yesterday, I can't remember it word for word but it said something basically along the lines of "if you like someone tell them, if you want to do something do it, if you think something say it" don't be afraid of the outcomes. Yes life can be a pretty daunting place from time to time but do you want to know what's more daunting? ... Missing out on the opportunities right in front of you. If uni has taught me anything so far it would be that life is what you make it, if you want to have a good time you have to make that good time for yourself. Sometimes doing the things we fear the most actually works out to be the best possible scenarios. 

Today/ Tomorrow I get my grade for my last project and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of the outcome but at the same time if I do badly then it's a learning curve, I know how and what I need to do to change myself for next time. Everyday is a learning curve, everyday we learn something new about ourselves, everyday we should big ourselves up instead of tearing ourselves down. I am guilty of this, guilty of thinking the worst of myself & my abilities, thinking that someone won't like me because I'm not as pretty as the other girls or thinking I didn't do that so I'm bound to fail. But you know what these last few months I've become a lot more accepting and prouder of what I have achieved. Okay so that may sound more than just a little big headed but it's not a lie, I generally have felt more comfortable in my own skin recently than I ever have. So yes I still make stupid mistakes, I'm still a bit of an awkward embarrassment but at the end of the day I'm happy and isn't that all that matters? I have a list longer than the length of my arm of what I want to achieve in my life but sometimes it's the small moments that matter just as much as the big. 

I'm not saying I'm going to go purposely out of my way to do something but if it feels right and the moment is there then I'm not going to say no. Growing up I was that little girl who wanted to achieve certain things by certain points in my life when really going with the flow is so much more fun. Okay so I still want to achieve them but it doesn't matter if it doesn't go how I planned because that's how it was meant to happen. I am a firm believer in fate- cheesy I know but sometimes things just happen for a reason, so they may close the door on that one thing you really wanted but it may just open up a bigger more exciting door. I'm excited, more than I ever have been before, right now it just feels like something good, really good, is starting to happen, I can just feel it- all I'm saying is I just can't wait to see where that moment takes me. 

Do you believe in fate?
Let me know below.


Image: Own

Friday, 16 February 2018

A week in uni outfits?

It's finally Friday thank god! I don't think I've ever needed the weekend anymore than I have this week. Safe to say right now would be about the right time for a long, hot holiday. 
Just a quick post today because I'm quickly trying to type this in between seminars.

So fashion and style?
I would like to class myself as a fashion blogger & YouTuber but in all honesty I don't feel like my blog really reflects this to be honest. Which is why this past week I've been working on something super exciting- a week in uni outfits vlog. Personally these vlogs are something that I always like to watch just because I'm a nosey person, that and the fact I think it's nice to see how people style themselves day to day. Now pre-warning I don't dress the best not everyday anyway but I've had a few people say to me how much they love my style so I thought maybe it's about time I share a bit more about it. My 'week' will go from Tuesday- Monday ready for my upload day on Tuesday. At the minute I hoping to do one every week but maybe I'll mix it up week to week by wearing the same one item different ways daily or I could even do a week in my going out outfits because it's hard to look good and stay warm this time of year believe.  I can't wait for those summer nights.
(Not that I could hack going out 7 nights in a row- 2 nights practically kills me!)

Random I know but another thing I just want to quickly say is how much I'm obsessing over the song "Capital Letters" by Hailee Steinfield- I mean I love her music anyway but this song damn the past 24 hours I've literally been playing it on repeat non stop. In fact I love the entire Fifty Shades Freed soundtrack I just think there's some real tunes on it, yes I have seen the film already- it's so good would deffo recommend! Don't worry if you haven't seen the others because I hadn't either but I still understood what was going on in the film with the help of friends explaining roughly what had happened in the other two.

Not much else to say really... I know this was a super short post- I hoping to spend the weekend planning out my content for the upcoming weeks, that and get on top of my uni work. I've only been back a week and I already feel about 3 weeks behind. lol go me! 

By the way, you know how in my last post I was saying I had a dilemma well, I may have just bite the bullet and applied to work in summer camp in America!!!! Yes I'm quite literally jumping up & down on my bed with joy typing that, nothings confirmed yet and I still have a lot to sort out for it but it just feels like the ball is finally rolling. I haven't wanted to do something this bad since applying to uni! Fingers crossed it goes to plan.

Well that's all from me till Monday anyway. Have a good weekend hunnies. 
What do you think about the idea of a 'week in uni outfits' style vlog?
Let me know in the comments below.

I really want to start doing more outfit posts on here too, I guess I'll have to get my mumma back behind the camera since her photography skills for my last uni project shocked me.


Images: own

Monday, 12 February 2018

I have a dilemma

Okay so I'm in a tricky situation and I need a someone to help a girl out...
Summer may well be a few months away yet but I'm already thinking about what I'm going to do for the duration of it... job, internship or work at a summer camp who knows? 

Ideally the internship scenario would be the best thing, simply because it would give me the fashion industry experience that I so badly need but I still would be fairly local to see family and friends over summer... The thing is though actually getting an internship placement is turning out to be a much harder task than I originally thought. You see it's hard getting up again after knock back, after knock back. Either you don't get a reply at all or they reply saying they don't have anything right now but they'll keep your information on file- I mean don't get me wrong I'm grateful for that but it still makes you feel like you're getting no where. 

The job situation is more than likely going to be unsuccessful, for the past two summers I've applied to about 30/40 jobs and I got about 2 unsuccessful interviews out of it. Money for third year is severely needed and I need to start putting money aside for when I finish uni too. It would be fab to get a retail job that would give me experience and I'd be paid for doing so. 

Finally the summer camp option, this is something I have dreamed of doing for the last 3/4 years it's mad how much I want to do it. I honestly think it would be life changing, it would push me further out of my comfort zone than I've ever been before but I'm just so excited to give it a try. Yes it is expensive to do but you earn the money back and make more money besides it. Out of the three options this was the plan for the summer break but it scared me the thought of not having any fashion industry experience. I know this looks good on your CV anyway but seriously how much do employers actually rate it? Plus the little fact it's in all the way over in America... don't get me wrong that is the dream but to my parents who already moan I don't see them enough at uni it's not what they want. It's hard if I decide not to do the summer camp thing then I know at some point I will regret it, maybe not today or tomorrow but some point in my life I'll look back and aways wonder how that might have worked out for me. 

I don't know what to do, I'm just so stuck in the middle, I'm still applying to countless internships, I will start applying for jobs and the deadline for summer camp is March 1st so I need to make my mind up quick. 

Which do you think I should go for?
Let me know in the comments & I'll see you all on Friday.


Images: Not my own

Saturday, 10 February 2018

Joggers aren't just for the gym.

Tracksuit bottoms or joggers have always been around, let’s face it besides pyjamas they’re probably the most comfortable thing you own. Feel free to admit it or not but they’re also probably that one item in your wardrobe that you practically live in. I love them. Coming from me this is quite the statement to make, sport or exercise of any real form hasn't ever been something that really interested me, my weekly PE lessons at school were not my idea of fun that’s for sure. Yes I get the whole toned body image is nice to have but have you ever eaten a Malteaser McFlurry now that is the stuff I dream about.

So when suddenly my insta feed was flooded with girls wearing joggers in a fashionable way I was a little unsure how I felt. Surely they couldn’t look good? Gone are the year 7 PE days consisting of unflattering joggers, baggy t-shirt and the vans that everyone had but you were never officially aloud to wear. This time around joggers are looking classy and cool. Nude, grey, black, camo you named it, paired with a bodysuit or a fitted crop top they look ‘peng’. Trainers or heels you decide personally I’m a fan of trainers because heels are more of a workout on a night out than the treadmill is at 8am in the morning but you do you. Joggers paired with that ‘nice top’ and some stiletto heels on a night in town could just be my new cup of tea, finally you don’t have to not be able to sit down because your outfit lacks space to breathe when you do. You can dance the night away without a care in the world whilst looking good doing so. Okay I’m sold pass me a pair or 10.

Next time you turn up to class and someone strolls in wearing track bottoms because they no doubtedly will, give them a little fashion credit. They are living that fine life of comfort and style after all isn’t that what we’re all after anyway? Besides if it’s 9am should you really be all that bothered by what you wear? Less effort equals more time in bed, and that’s something I definitely like to hear. So I will be for sure jumping on this joggers bandwagon, the only question left to ask now is how many is an acceptable number to own before it becomes classed as an obsession?

Image: Pinterest

Monday, 5 February 2018

It's about time...

Welcome back!

I know it's been a crazy long time since I last blogged, I think my last post must have been the one about going to Berlin which is madness because it's been like 2 weeks since I got back from there. Then what with deadlines causing me to hibernate away from anything remotely fun for an entire week and going home straight after it just felt like I needed some time to breathe. Life got a bit crazy, Not going to lie the stress of coursework made me need a week just to do absolutely nothing. 

I'm now back at uni still with another week til any lectures or seminars but I'm hoping to spend this week productively sorting my life out. That means planning and organising the whole blogging lifestyle, filming/ uploading YouTube videos, getting my butt back to the gym because it's now February before you know it, it's gonna be Summer before we know it and most importantly get somehow ahead of my next semester of work. In all honesty the only thing I really want and need right now is a holiday somewhere hot and sunny, where I can be sat on a beach, Pina colada in one hand and a good book in the other. In reality though that's not and probably won't be my life for a good 6 months yet, I don't understand how I am so physically drained of this year when it's only February 5th, like how is that even possible?!?

Berlin as you're probably eager to know was great! Not sure I'd visit again just because I don't know it didn't feel like as a city it was my vibe, I'm a NYC gal at heart and I seriously don't think that is going to change anytime soon. Still I'm glad I went and saw the sights, not only that but to be there in the midst of Berlin Fashion Week was honestly a dream come true. It actually made me feel quite emotional to be honest, to think that could be the first of what will hopefully be many fashion weeks to come made me a teary-eyed mess, maybe it's my hormones playing up who knows, that kinda stuff doesn't usually get me. But you know that feeling you get when you want something so bad it physically hurts, yeh that's me, as a 'Greatest Showman' fanatic if you didn't know already, the millions dreams song gets me every single time, I'm a massive believer in 'if you believe you can then you will' so stuff about what will hopefully be my future career just makes me tear up. Fashion has probably been the only thing I've ever really enjoyed, I'd like to think I'm good at it but most importantly I want it to do amazing things for me.

Back to Berlin, I'd 100% recommend going to see the city, overall I'd say it was having a lot of renovation done to it but all the same it was amazing to experience a new way of life. I personally loved the Reichstag building tour which was free and quite literally took my breathe away, going up in the dome and looking across the entire city from 360 degree angles was mind blowing. It wasn't like anything I've ever experienced before, it was different to the London Eye or the Empire State it was just magical. I also really appreciated the Jewish memorial, obviously it was extremely sad but it made me just feel the event so much more, it's hard to explain but having been to the memorial just makes me have so much more empathy for the whole thing now. Of course I knew it was a horrific event before I went but it just opened my eyes up to the scale of things- it's the type of thing I will never forget. 
Trade show wise by far the Bright & Seek ones were my favourite, okay so they were completely irrelevant to the research needed for my next assignment but personal style wise they were a bit of me. Growing up I was that girl with a skateboard so really it's no surprise that the fashion event with it's own skate ramps was going to be my cup of tea. I actually vlogged my whole Berlin trip which was nerve racking but exciting so I'll leave that below.

Deadline wise I don't think I've ever felt more stressed, not joking I finished my work about 9 hours before the official deadline. That week quite literally killed me off, I still think I'm catching up on sleep from it now which is mad. In the end as bad as this is going to sound I didn't care anymore I just wanted it over with. I think that was partly why I regretted going Berlin, that extra week was just what I needed but didn't get to have. Still it's over now, it is what it is. I put my heart and soul into it but in the end I was just like why? Yes obviously I want a good grade for my personal goals but when it comes down to it second year on my course doesn't count for any percentage of my final degree- the whole thing is just a learning curve. 

Getting my life back on track...
Having recovered from all that stress I am now ready to get back to it, those internships won't find themselves if only it was the easy. I think the biggest lesson I learnt from last semester was that organisation is something I really need to improve on, yes I can manage my blog, YouTube, group projects, individual projects, internship searching, gym going and a social life if I use my time effectively. Sleeping in all day and binge watching Netflix is not effective for me, don't get me wrong down time is important of course it is but I keep seeing this same tweet everywhere I go "Work hard now, your future self will thank you for it" and I think it's trying tell me something. I know deep down that what I'm doing at the minute, myself in 5 years time would not be grateful for, yet if I just dedicated my time more evenly I would be happy with myself. I've decided it's not about what or how or even where other people are going, it's about me- you can't drive forward in a straight line if your constantly staring at other people's lanes either side of you. 

So I guess the whole new year, new me thing starts now, February 5th 2018, I'm saying I will be better, a better version of myself because I'm tired and unhappy with my life decisions I guess I'm just a little bit too indecisive for my liking. From this point that is going to change. 

Starting with a regular blogging schedule- see you Friday (well tomorrow on my YouTube)


Images are all my own
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