FASHION. BEAUTY. LIFESTYLE. an indecisive girl's life

Friday 8 September 2017

Dear Fresher,


Although the new University year isn't quite here just yet, I thought it would be helpful & a little bit reassuring to write a letter to all freshers starting September 2017. I'm no uni expert by any means but I did experience the whole thing myself for the first time last year & I know this would have been super helpful for me...

So University? Your in! Congrats! You've done the hard part so now it's time for the fun. Most probably by now you'll be gathering everything you could possibly ever need for first year; laptop, photos, pots, pans, bathroom stuff, kitchen stuff, room stuff- now that's a whole lot of STUFF. Your bedroom will more than likely have huge piles in every corner of 'UNAY THANGS'... you'll have lists here there and everywhere of things you've already got & things you need to get- you may even have a list of your lists... now that would be organised!



No doubt you're this weird mix of excitement and nerves, there may have even been tears already at how much life is going to change. One minute you'll be super excited to be leaving home, having your independence, excited for what the year ahead will have in store for you... and the next minute you'll be stressed out about not finding any of you flatmates online (surely they have to be somewhere???), crying over leaving your home friends and wondering how on earth you're going to survive let alone eat without your family doing everything for you.

University is a BIG thing! It's okay to be nervous!

For me this time last year, everything listed above was on my mind 24/7. Yes I was excited but I would say this time last year I was a lot more nervous than excited. For me freshers didn't get off to a good start (not to worrying you more or anything) but truthfully it didn't, even before I started uni I didn't want to go simply because I didn't get the accommodation I wanted, it wasn't my preferred choice of uni because I gave in & went with where my parents wanted me to go and I'd only found about 1 out of my 6 flatmates. So you could say I wasn't really looking forward to it....

Fast forward to a year later I've just returned from a weekend in our new house for second year who I'm sharing with 3 of my original flatmates plus 2 other friends we made at our halls. I love my friends, I love the nightlife, I love my course, I love the uni- basically I love life!

Pre-uni I was socially awkward plain and simple, now at uni although I wouldn't say I'm a total social butterfly the difference is unreal. Uni for me brought me out of my shell more than I ever could have possibly imagined. I'm not going to sugar coat it though, the first few weeks for me were the worst- I really didn't want to be there, I didn't feel like I was the type of person who made friends easily and I really missed home even though I only around an hour away. I had friends who settled into uni really quickly, they had a huge group of friends by the second week and were loving life. But unfortunately that wasn't me... it really is true what they say you do have to stick it out through the tough times before it gets better. Honestly I could have gone home the first weekend after moving in because I hated it that much, whereas now you'll find me going months without going home. See the difference already.

The Build Up:
Counting the days until you go to uni is different for everyone, some will be counting because every second closer they get more & more excited and others will probably be counting because they're dreading the limited number of days until everything changes. For me as you've probably guessed already I was the second option. Literally it seemed like wherever you went it was all people were talking and asking you about, I lost count of the amount of people who said to me "bet you're looking forward to it", and honestly I really could have replied "no I'm not". But of course you do the natural response and say "yeah of course". Sometimes it felt like uni had taken over your life and you hadn't even started. It was a weird time to be a home because your head was telling that you're moving out in a few weeks yet your heart may have been saying "I really don't want to go!". Maybe that's not you, maybe you're completely happy, excited, looking forward to it but let me tell you, even the most confident person you know will have been nervous about starting uni.

Moving Day:
This day seemed to come around SO quick, I mean I was prepared in the sense I had everything ready but emotionally I was not prepared and I don't think my parents were either. I'm an only child so obviously it was big thing for my parents too. Loading up the car the night before made me cry, my mum cooking me my last home meal for a while made me cry, my dad saying it'll be your last night in your own bed made me cry, the thought of leaving my dog made cry... I was VERY emotional. Even driving to my halls I was a crying wreck, I mean I had just said bye to my dog which probably started me off but still. Arriving at halls & sorting out my room was surprisingly okay it didn't feel real to be honest. But waving my parents off was when it proper hit me- actually I couldn't even wave my parents off because it would have been too much.

The First Week: 
Even if you hate uni this is a milestone, there were times in the first week where I definitely thought I couldn't do it. I cried a lot when a rang home, spent a lot of time alone in my room which didn't help so please don't do this. I got on with my flat mates but, it was weird for me because there was meant 6 of us in the flat but only 5 moved in, 3 boys, 2 girls. I didn't get on with the other girl and before uni I didn't really have many guy friends so I felt out of my depth already. Freshers was fun granted but I didn't enjoy it much- freshers for me was my biggest regret I really wish I'd enjoyed it more and had of thrown myself into it more but I kinda avoided social events because I didn't feel comfortable. I remember this one night at freshers where I was in a room full of 20/30+ people and I've never felt more alone. Even to this day I say to my friends and parents, if I hadn't had loved my course (Fashion Communication & Promotion) as much as I did then I would have dropped out.

The First Month:
I still don't know how I got to the first month of being at uni, and I was really proud of myself when I did. The biggest piece of advice I could give to anyone reading this would be take every day as it comes, don't look too far ahead and just focus on the now. At this point I was starting to go on nights a lot more, I had made course friends and I felt a lot closer to the guys in my flat.

The First Term:
At the end of the first term I was 100% settled into uni, yes I know it probably doesn't take that long for most people but for me that was how long it took. End of first term was when I really felt happy and comfortable with my uni life.

The First Year:
Completed it mate! To date it may sound kinda strange but this is one of my biggest achievements. Not only did I complete first year but I completed it with a fab group of friends, a good grade on my course and with the social life & confidence I never thought I'd have. First year has a lot of first times for everyone. Looking back I have SO many amazing memories with amazing people who a year ago I didn't even know. Yet here I am a year later SO happy and SO grateful to have them in my life. At start of freshers my course was what got me through it all but at the end of it, it was my friends. Uni changed me so much as a person and I'm so happy it did- probably the first time in my life I feel happy and comfortable with who I am. I know for a fact that without uni I would not be in this happy place where I am right now.

Saying I'm looking forward to second year would be an understatement, crazily the halls I didn't want  to live in turned out to be the BEST thing that could have happened to me. I would not have the friends I have now without it and leaving halls was so sad. Still I'm so excited to be living in a house for second year with 5 amazing people, I'm excited for second year on my course because it definitely focuses on more of what I want to do and I'm excited for second year because I can't wait to make more amazing memories. See the difference? 



If you're reading this as a soon to be fresher then the three pieces of advice I would give to you would be:

1. Take everyday as it comes.
2. Throw yourself into any social activity even if it is out of your comfort zone.
3. Give it time, don't assume you'll instantly feel settled and comfortable because a lot of people really don't feel this straight away. But it will happen and when it does you'll feel like you couldn't be anywhere better.

Hope you all enjoyed this EXTREMELY long post (lol sorry it was so long), if you have any more questions then feel free to comment them below. But remember you honestly have nothing to worry about! And if you are starting uni this year then good luck but you won't need it because you will have the best time and I am slightly jealous because I would love to be a fresher again.

Take care & I'll see you all soon.
X

Photo credit: Pinterest.
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